


Forgive Me

by daisyisawriter91



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Goodbyes, I'm Sorry, M/M, Season/Series 06, Time Travel, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 06:49:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14159154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisyisawriter91/pseuds/daisyisawriter91
Summary: Balthazar has never been good at goodbyes. But on the eve of his demise, he has a very important one to make.





	Forgive Me

This had to be the stupidest thing Balthazar had ever done, and he hadn’t even done it, yet. Double-crossing Castiel…there was only one way this could end. It would end in Balthazar’s death. He wondered if the Winchesters even realized that. He doubted they did.  
As he sipped his final Cognac, he realized something. The last face he wanted to see before that of his murderer’s. Henry Winchester.  
Being an angel made relationships across time incredibly easy, yet incredibly complicated. But Balthazar managed to keep only one timeline straight. The one belonging to his beloved.  
Balthazar stood from his armchair and sighed. He set down his drink and took a deep breath, though it was unnecessary. The last time he would see Henry…he wasn’t sure if he could do it. The thought of leaving his beloved behind was absurd to him. But, whatever had to be done to stop Cas.  
Balthazar flew. He jumped into the past, into 1953. The final year he would see Henry. He landed right in Henry’s backyard, exactly as he planned. Luckily, Henry was home.  
He was a vision, as always. Even with his sleeves rolled up, scrubbing away at dishes, Balthazar still believed him to be the most beautiful sight his father had ever bestowed upon humanity.  
Henry looked out the window, meeting Balthazar’s eyes. His face lit up like a lightbulb. He dried his hands as quickly as he could and ran outside, grabbing Balthazar in a fierce hug. Balthazar embraced him back, savoring the feeling of his beloved’s muscles beneath his hands.  
“Balthazar! I’ve missed you so much!” Henry exclaimed.  
“And I, you.” Balthazar replied, honestly.  
He held the position for a long time. Henry didn’t protest, though Balthazar could sense uneasiness growing inside him. Finally, Balthazar let go, taking a moment to look into Henry’s clear blue eyes.  
“Is everything alright, dear?” Henry asked, worriedly. Balthazar chuckled, bitterly.  
“No, Henry. Unfortunately, nothing is alright.” He confessed. “I’m about to do something incredibly idiotic, and there’s no coming back from it. But not doing it…that’s worse.”  
“What are you about to do, Balthazar?” Henry questioned, cupping Balthazar’s face with one hand.  
“Save the world, I fear.” Balthazar responded, leaning into Henry’s touch. “Darling, I’m sorry to say, this is the last time I will ever see you. What I’m about to do…will inevitably end my life.”  
Henry looked stricken, hurt etched into his every feature. It broke Balthazar’s heart.  
“No. No, that can’t be true. There has to be a way around it. I won’t accept that.” Henry said, bringing up his other hand to cup Balthazar’s face. “I won’t.”  
“You’ll have to, darling. I can’t change the outcome. And believe me, I’ve thought through everything. One way or another, I am going to die.” Balthazar repeated.  
“You can’t!” Henry’s voice broke. His eyes were desperate. “I can’t lose you, Balt.”  
Seeing no other alternative, Balthazar leant forward and kissed Henry. He savored every single second of it, committing it to memory. The He’d remember it for the rest of his life. However long that ended up being.  
All good things must come to an end, such as that kiss. Balthazar pulled away and gripped Henry’s hands, moving them from his face to link behind his neck.  
“Just know that I have loved you ever since my father dreamt you up. And if anything of my life lasts after death, it will be how I’ve always felt about you.” Balthazar had never been one to let his wall down, but with Henry, a wall never existed. He told his beloved everything. “If you can, forget me. Lose me in your memory. It will do you no good to keep me there.”  
“I could never forget you, Balthazar.” Henry argued. Tears were forming in his eyes, something Balthazar had never seen before. It made his resolve weaken, but not break. He knew what he needed to do.  
“As I feared. Listen to me, Henry. Live your life as best you can. Be as happy as you can. You have an important life to lead.” Balthazar divulged. Henry blinked. Balthazar didn’t often talk about the future, so it was probably strange to hear. “And if you ever meet an angel named Castiel, be kind to him. Chances are, he’ll need it. More than you know.”  
Balthazar lingered for a moment, heart telling him to stay, brain telling him to leave. He hugged his beloved one last time, pressing a kiss to his hair. “Forgive me. If nothing else, forgive me. That’s all I ask. I know it’s impossible, but please. Forgive me for leaving you. And know that I don’t want to.”  
Henry grabbed onto his shirt.  
“Don’t go.” He pleaded. Balthazar detached himself.  
“Forgive me.” Balthazar repeated, and flew off. Flew to his death.  
And when the angel blade tore through his stomach, he thought of Henry. His eyes lighting up when he saw Balthazar, the sound of his voice attempting to pronounce Enochian, their final kiss. It filled his head, and sent him into death peacefully.

 

Henry stared at John’s journal, gently flipping through the pages. They were amazing to see. His son had lived a full, if tragic, life without him. It was surreal, to say the least.  
He wondered what Balthazar would say about John. About Sam and Dean. His remarkable grandsons. He was entirely astounded with them. Yes, they weren’t Men of Letters, but they were brilliant young men. Capable and confident. And they never had a grandfather.  
Henry flipped another page and scanned it. His eyes caught on a paragraph.  
_I received a strange message today. This British guy asked me to write it down somewhere. The only reason I listened is because the guy radiated power. If I didn’t do as he said, he could kill me. He knew it, I knew it. This is what he asked me to write: “Darling, please remember what I said in 1953.” Not sure what it means, or if anyone will know. Why’d he ask me to write this down?_  
Henry nearly dropped the book. There was only one person this could’ve been, and only one person it could’ve been addressed to. It was from Balthazar, it just had to be.  
Sam chose that moment to enter, carrying food in his hand.  
“Hey, Henry. What’s wrong?” Sam asked, setting down the plastic bag full of terrible food. Henry took a deep breath.  
“Sam. Did you ever meet an angel named Balthazar?” He asked. Recognition dawned on Sam’s face.  
“Yeah. Few years back. He sacrificed himself for us. Why? Did you know him?” Sam countered.  
“Very well.” Henry left the answer at that. He wasn’t sure Sam was ready for the whole truth.  
Balthazar had really done it. Really sacrificed himself for the world. For Henry’s grandsons.  
In that moment, he fell in love all over again. And that only made everything in his heart ache worse than it had before.


End file.
